Incentives for Motivating Children
What are incentives?
Incentives are rewards for good behaviors. Incentives are
especially helpful for overcoming resistance when children
are locked in a power struggle or control battle with their
parents. Rewards give a child a reason to end the power
struggle.
How do I use incentives?
There are four rules that make incentives powerful:
- The incentive is strongly desired by the child. You can
ask your child for ideas.
- The reward is given immediately after the child meets the
goal.
- The child is given access to the incentive for 30 to 60
minutes.
- The reward continues to be owned and controlled by the
parent.
The fourth rule is essential. The child's access to the
toy, costume, or other incentive needs to be time-limited.
That way your child is really earning a privilege and not
another possession. That's the only way to maintain the
incentive's value.
What are good incentives to use?
- Access to a new toy or favorite toy
- Trike or bike time
- Train set time
- Star Wars toys time
- Lego project time
- Car and truck time
- Remote control dog or car time
- Lion or dinosaur toys time
- Creating jewelry time
- Art or drawing time
- Water pistol time
- Magic sword time
- New costume or outfit time
- Batman, Superman, Snow White, Belle, etc.
- Nail Polish
- Special shoes or dress-up clothes
- Media time
- New videos
- Videotapes of favorite TV shows
- Computer or video games
- Special foods
- Candy or sweets
- Ice cream or popsicle
- Special cookies
- Favorite foods (such as pizza or strawberries)
- Food from a favorite restaurant
- Money (coins)
You can add some variety to incentives by making a grab bag
of surprises or slips of paper with different incentives
written on them. You can also reward breakthroughs or
significant goals with a triple reward (such as, going to a
fast food place, picking out a video and staying up late to
watch it).
What should I NOT use as an incentive?
Physical affection (hugs and kisses) and parent-child
activities (field trips, playing games, or reading) should
not be withheld from a child or used as incentives. They
are essential for your child's emotional growth and mental
health. Nurturing your child also makes the child more
receptive to parental rules and requests. Likewise,
physical activities (playing catch, going on walks or to the
park) should not be withheld from your child. Fitness and
endurance are important for your child's physical health.
However, you can offer "extra" parent-child activities as an
incentive.
Written by B. D. Schmitt, MD, author of "Your Child's Health," Bantam Books.
This content is reviewed periodically and is subject to
change as new health information becomes available. The
information is intended to inform and educate and is not a
replacement for medical evaluation, advice, diagnosis or
treatment by a healthcare professional.
Copyright © 2006 McKesson Corporation and/or one of its subsidiaries. All Rights Reserved.